Official Penguin Website
You've found us. Now what?
Our Mission
Our mission is simple: To exist. To be aerodynamic underwater. To be terrible at flying. We've mastered our niche. We're not apologizing for it.
We've heard the rumors. The other "official" sites. Please. We're the digital equivalent of a black-tie event. They're just a bunch of tuxedo t-shirts.
Our "Products"
Look, we don't have products. Our existence is our product. We’re cool, efficient, and wildly successful despite a complete lack of thumbs. Try doing that with your overpriced latte.
Don't Contact Us
If you feel the uncontrollable urge, we'll try not to judge. We get it, we're an enigma. We probably won’t reply, but we appreciate the effort.